The Language of Family

Every family has their own language; their own sayings and personal words that mean something special to those within the “inner circle”.  Some families are more fluent than others, but in some form or another, I believe it is always something you’ll find if you pay attention closely enough.  In my world, I realize that I have a few different families and we each have our own language--  I have my immediate family, my childhood family, my college years family, my professional family, etc.. I could probably list more “families” than I have fingers if I were to honestly sit and think about it.  Yet with all of these families and the fact that I speak English with them all, the actual language I speak is entirely different depending on whom I am with. And while I find each of my families each as wonderful as the next one, my thoughts are leaning towards my immediate family on this sunny, happy Friday.

I love going home and spending time with my family.  I am sure it might get boring for others to hear some of the same stories and memories that we share time and time again, but this is the language that makes up the fabric of our family.  It is inherently “us” and as much as a part of our family as we are.  There is a feeling I have when I am with my family, of totally being peaceful within my soul.  I belong there without trying, it’s “home” no matter where I am (although being home home, as in Greenville, totally brings my sense of calm to it’s best levels, even with Beau Beau and Lulu barking and Phoebe hissing).  It’s chaos, it’s laughter, it’s yelling and bickering, but at the end of the day, it’s family and that’s good.

Watching my children the other day, I realized that there is a special group that forms it’s own family within the bigger family.  And that is the family of siblings, and with it, the language of siblings. 

I can sit and listen to my children talking and playing and catch most of what they are saying.  Ellie is harder to understand as she is still learning her words and pronunciations, but her meaning is generally there (she is a bit of a banshee, you can’t miss what she is saying at those times for sure).  But as I listened to them, I could see that Gabe was understanding things that she was saying even without being verbal and vice versa.  They had a sort of cadence to their play; their communication; that was so fascinating to watch.  They ebbed and flowed within their own conversation without really even saying much at all. 

And watching them I started to think about my own brother and sister.  The more I thought, the more I realized that we too have our own language.  We have “isms” that will bring us to the ground laughing, memories and words that just make up who we are.  I can text my brother Jeremy one word and I know that he’ll catch on and be on the same page as I am.  And I know that as much as I am smiling on my end, he’s probably shaking his head on his end, laughing as well.  So many times I’ve had my day turned around after a conversation or silly text/message from Jeremy or Gillian--  And trust me, if anyone actually saw what we were texting or heard what we were saying, they’d scratch their heads and wonder how this could be amusing.  It’s just our own language, it works. 

When I was a child and my brother, sister and I would fight, my father would look at us and tell us that no one in this world is as close to you as your brother or sister are.  I used to think he was just using that to get  us to stop fighting, but as I’ve grown up, I’ve realized the beauty to having a brother or sister (although there are times where I question that as no one can frustrate you nearly as much as your brother or sister either).  I love that we have our own language that even our parents can’t figure out sometimes.  And I can’t wait to watch Gabe and Ellie grow up and create their own memories and communication that leaves me scratching my own head trying to figure it out.