....This has all been wonderful; but now I am on my way...
(Phish; Down with Disease--I have borrowed this from them as this phrase has been roaming in my head for weeks)
I have writers’ block.
I have thoughts swirling around my poor brain and no way to organize them
to put them forward in a linear, understandable thought. I have so much to say, yet not enough to open
my mouth and let it be heard. I am introspective
today and feel that before I can get back to writing inanities like my ice
cream machine or the randomness that is my life, maybe I need to get this out
of the way.
I have changes on the horizon. I am moving away from the seacoast. I am going back home to be closer to my
family. I have missed out on so much in
my past few years living so far away and it is time for me to return for a
while or maybe longer. I have no plans
other than to make some changes.
It is
good- It feels weird to leave, but it
feels good to go back.
I left my home after college for the seacoast. I was smarter than my parents of course and
ready to strike off on my own. I had a
shiny new college degree and a head full of ideas and dreams. And while I cannot say I fulfilled
everything my 23 year old self intended to achieve, I can’t say I didn’t live
out my dreams. I had fun, so much
fun. I met people, I danced (and
danced), I got into trouble (innocent trouble of course) and grew up. I learned to accept things I cannot change
nor control and how to move on when it is time to go.
I found love, marriage, children and career. I’ve struggled with big decisions, but I’ve
had to release some things that are painful and wrong for me and remember when
it is time to go.
And now; It’s time to
go. My pull home is stronger than the
glue I had holding me here. I return
back wiser than when I left as I know now that I still have much to learn. My college degree is now dusty in a box
holding my memories. I’m ready to make
some fresh memories. New adventures, not
as a shy girl in her early 20s, too afraid to truly put herself out there and
let people enjoy the fun and silliness she is capable of; but as me.
The ME that I’ve become as I’ve become a
grown up. A confident me, a happy me, an
amazing me.
