I had written this last year and posted as a note on Facebook.. I was reminded of it today from a blog that was going around that a friend shared on her own timeline.. It is actually quite pertinent as last night I stood in my kitchen amidst the dishes in my sink and the random crayon parts all over my floor and said to myself that I can't do this.. I tried hard to click my heels to whisk myself away to my real home, but I didn't go anywhere. Reading this today makes me smile as I have the wisdom of a new day and the memory of that this too shall pass (and come back and pass again and come back again and then pass yet one more time!)
Flunking Motherhood??
Let’s go over your grades, Ms. Hinkel… I see from your profile that you did quite well in school, you seemed to excel academically throughout your early educational career in High School and College. A few low marks in athletic ability, but we won’t hold that against you.
Moving on,
you’ve had a few bumps in the road (we question a few choices: How to Avoid a Cover Charge at Bananas, You Too Can Look Good in Baggy Clothing, and Gilley’s IS Health Food) , but it appears that you’ve brought up your grades quite a bit in Cooking 101, Advanced Job Longevity and How to Achieve Good Personal Hygiene. We’d love to see a bit more effort in your electives; Sewing III, The Basics of Sticking to your Diet, Exercise: It’s a Lifestyle, not a Choice, and Time Management for Dummies.
Now, our biggest area of concern seems to be your seminar: Motherhood. Sadly, we’ve been worried about a few low test scores and fear that unless you work a little harder, you may be in danger of failing this course. While we understand that you are trying hard, we know that you can always study harder and improve your performance…
…as I sit here and listen to alternating wailing coming from 2 different bedrooms, I feel that sometimes I AM in
danger of failing my most important course of life: Motherhood. Even
the most seasoned mother would feel a bit inadequate (if not for a
moment before they get real and wise up) when they listen to the cries
of “no mommy no” at bedtime. I know that they will eventually fall
asleep, that they are not injured, hungry, sick or being taped to wall
by a closet monster, but it always makes me wonder if I could have done
something just a bit better in order to keep this from being the
outcome. I watch these movies with angelic children who seem to be
only able to listen and obey their parents’ wishes. They eat the food
that is prepared for them without whining, they go quietly to the
bathroom to prepare for their nightly bath/shower without screaming or
running around the kitchen cackling wildly, and the best of the best,
they actually scamper off to bed without a word or want (I want a snack, I want something to drink, my belly is squishy and is still hungry, the room scares me, I need more time awake).
Who are those parents who lean into the room lovingly as they turn out
the light saying “good night, sleep tight, da da da…”, closing the door
all the way and then slinking off to the living room for grownup time?
Who are they?? And if any of you are actually them, could I please
come to your house and learn from you?
Deep down, of course, I
know that I am a good mother. I know that I am doing a good job, I am
the best mother for my children, I know that. It just takes that little
extra effort sometimes to remember that when I am at the end of my
rope, saying phrases my own mother has said to me her whole life (if
I had a nickel, I am in here if you want me, I am not made of money and
my most commonly used one, do I look like a short order
cook/waitress/maid –you insert your proper noun as needed). Not a
dig on my mother as she will always be the best mother in the world,
followed closely by my grandmothers, Grace and Ellie. I just find
myself uttering familiar things and I can truly recognize how she felt
when we were at our worst. As it is now 8:30pm, I am still fighting the
fight with Gabe to get him down to sleep. I’ve heard every excuse in
the book why he cannot sleep in his room tonight, yet I am working hard
toward that “good grade” in my mind, and am holding firm to not give
in.
And once he’s finally out, I’ll sit back and relax like one
of those movie parents. I won’t have a glass of wine as it will be too
late and I’ll essentially just be too tired to want one! They can keep
their wine and their movie, I will be just fine with my diet coke and
Food TV. And then I’ll review my night and put it into proper
perspective. Just like we got progress reports at school, I think
sometimes you need to take a moment to take inventory of your pros and
cons of your motherhood performance. Award yourself for the “A” moments
and work harder to bring up those “D-‘s”. And remember in your
children’s eyes, chances are you are already on the honor roll, you just
need to maintain your GPA.
Let’s go over your grades, Ms. Hinkel… I see from your profile that you did quite well in school, you seemed to excel academically throughout your early educational career in High School and College. A few low marks in athletic ability, but we won’t hold that against you.
Moving on,
you’ve had a few bumps in the road (we question a few choices: How to Avoid a Cover Charge at Bananas, You Too Can Look Good in Baggy Clothing, and Gilley’s IS Health Food) , but it appears that you’ve brought up your grades quite a bit in Cooking 101, Advanced Job Longevity and How to Achieve Good Personal Hygiene. We’d love to see a bit more effort in your electives; Sewing III, The Basics of Sticking to your Diet, Exercise: It’s a Lifestyle, not a Choice, and Time Management for Dummies.Now, our biggest area of concern seems to be your seminar: Motherhood. Sadly, we’ve been worried about a few low test scores and fear that unless you work a little harder, you may be in danger of failing this course. While we understand that you are trying hard, we know that you can always study harder and improve your performance…
…as I sit here and listen to alternating wailing coming from 2 different bedrooms, I feel that sometimes I AM in
danger of failing my most important course of life: Motherhood. Even
the most seasoned mother would feel a bit inadequate (if not for a
moment before they get real and wise up) when they listen to the cries
of “no mommy no” at bedtime. I know that they will eventually fall
asleep, that they are not injured, hungry, sick or being taped to wall
by a closet monster, but it always makes me wonder if I could have done
something just a bit better in order to keep this from being the
outcome. I watch these movies with angelic children who seem to be
only able to listen and obey their parents’ wishes. They eat the food
that is prepared for them without whining, they go quietly to the
bathroom to prepare for their nightly bath/shower without screaming or
running around the kitchen cackling wildly, and the best of the best,
they actually scamper off to bed without a word or want (I want a snack, I want something to drink, my belly is squishy and is still hungry, the room scares me, I need more time awake).
Who are those parents who lean into the room lovingly as they turn out
the light saying “good night, sleep tight, da da da…”, closing the door
all the way and then slinking off to the living room for grownup time?
Who are they?? And if any of you are actually them, could I please
come to your house and learn from you?
Deep down, of course, I
know that I am a good mother. I know that I am doing a good job, I am
the best mother for my children, I know that. It just takes that little
extra effort sometimes to remember that when I am at the end of my
rope, saying phrases my own mother has said to me her whole life (if
I had a nickel, I am in here if you want me, I am not made of money and
my most commonly used one, do I look like a short order
cook/waitress/maid –you insert your proper noun as needed). Not a
dig on my mother as she will always be the best mother in the world,
followed closely by my grandmothers, Grace and Ellie. I just find
myself uttering familiar things and I can truly recognize how she felt
when we were at our worst. As it is now 8:30pm, I am still fighting the
fight with Gabe to get him down to sleep. I’ve heard every excuse in
the book why he cannot sleep in his room tonight, yet I am working hard
toward that “good grade” in my mind, and am holding firm to not give
in.
And once he’s finally out, I’ll sit back and relax like one
of those movie parents. I won’t have a glass of wine as it will be too
late and I’ll essentially just be too tired to want one! They can keep
their wine and their movie, I will be just fine with my diet coke and
Food TV. And then I’ll review my night and put it into proper
perspective. Just like we got progress reports at school, I think
sometimes you need to take a moment to take inventory of your pros and
cons of your motherhood performance. Award yourself for the “A” moments
and work harder to bring up those “D-‘s”. And remember in your
children’s eyes, chances are you are already on the honor roll, you just
need to maintain your GPA.